Friday, March 07, 2003
Omigod what have I done to myself?
HORK.
What was supposed to be a casual night out at the bars…
What was supposed to be an easy beginning to Mariah’s big birthday celebration tonight…
What was supposed to be an hour or two at a local lesbian bar…
HORK.
I sit here at my desk and wonder how the fuck I woke up with blood dried all over my arm. I look down at my leg and wonder how there is dried pizza sauce all over the pair of jeans I am wearing. My stomach churns and burns and I am stuck somewhere between vomiting all over my desk and shitting out everything thing that went down my gullet in the past 12 hours.
Mariah got to my house last night at around 7pm. We drank some beers, talked for a couple hours, and got to Paul’s apartment at 9:30pm. From that point on, shit was crazy. Mariah, Lisa, Jen, Paul, and myself sat around and talked some more before we were to head out to the “Meow Mix”. Fucking purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. At one point during our “pre-gaming”, I burst into tears AGAIN. Can I have a day WITHOUT crying? I mean, I am rapidly turning into the biggest fucking baby on the planet. Nobody wants Joe around cuz you know that tears are sure to follow. My friends are being amazing about everything. Never making me feel as though my emotions are too much for them to handle. Last night I didn’t feel nearly as alone as I have felt over the last week.
We arrived at Meow Mix at 11pm and that is when things start to get a little fuzzy. You know, although I have been known to drink on a semi-regular basis, I am always in control, and maintain an appropriate level of drunkenness. But last night, as the vodka tonics came and went faster than I could breathe, I found myself experiencing this new level of wasted asshole. Let’s see…Here is a recap of what I do remember of the evening:
*I didn’t spend that much money. Paul spent about $250. The kid just buys drinks. He doesn’t even ask if anyone needs them. Kelly showed up at “Meows” with her friend Stephanie and this other guy named Evan. (Evan was pretty cool, although I don’t actually remember talking to him at any point. And now as I type this I remember him bumming a cigarette from me while I was being stalked by the only gay old man in the bar. Ok, weird that I remember that.) So, as I was saying, I noticed Paul was buying a drink and I went over to give him money for mine. I realized that he had purchased 8 drinks. There weren’t even 8 people with us. So yeah, Paul just buys all the vodka in the place, thinking that people are just going to stand around holding 3 drinks and dancing. No wonder we all ended up so out of our minds.
*Mariah fell down on the ground hard and Kelly rescued her in the knick of time. But not before completely ruining a new pair of pants she had gotten earlier in the day.
*Paul and I go to “Ray’s Pizza” and buy food for everyone, cuz we left the bar earlier then everyone else. I think we spent like $30 on food. Then we get home and I smoke a bowl and realize that I am hella fucked up and Paul and I sit and debate our relationship for an hour. At some point, the meatball that I was eating rolled down my leg and out the kitchen door. I must have laughed and walked on past it cuz this morning I found sauce on my jeans and a trail of dried sauce in a perfect line coming out of the kitchen. Yet, there was no meatball at the end of the trail. Did I pick it up and finish eating it? Probably. I’ve been known to do worse.
*The music at the bar was from 1993 and included such hits as “Are you down with OPP?” and “Humpty Dance”. I liked it for the most part, but then I hated it. yeah. yeah that’s exactly how I felt about it.
*I took Paul’s keys from him cuz I thought he would lose them. Then we get out of the cab in front of his apartment and he can’t find his keys. And I start bitching at him about how I should have taken the keys when I had the chance. I buzz his house buzzer for like twenty minutes and his roommate Lisa finally crawls out of bed and lets us in. Once upstairs, and after apologizing to Lisa, I take off my jacket and empty my pockets and the keys fall out onto the floor. I felt incredibly sheepish.
*Somehow I scraped my knuckles against the side of a wall and decided that it was perfectly normal to let it bleed all night long and all over my entire arm. Imagine my horror when I woke up this morning and saw blood everywhere. After scrubbing and cleaning myself, sure that I was to find a HUGE gash somewhere on my arm, I realized that all of the blood came out of three tiny knicks on my knuckles. Lame. It could have been a great story about mangling my body, but instead it’s puss story about knicks and shit.
*The alarm went off at 8:50am and I screamed to Paul: “Why would you set the alarm? Turn it off!” Paul snoozes once and 7 minutes later the alarm goes off again. “Turn off the alarm! It’s fucking SATURDAY!!” “No Joe, it’s Friday and you have to be to work in an hour.” “What?” “WHAT?” “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!” Two rounds of intense diarrhea immediately follow.
And that’s pretty much it. I had an enormous amount of fun. But boy am I paying for it today. I called Mariah as soon as I got to work to make sure that she was doing ok. Today is her second day at her new job and when she called me back she sounded in MUCH worse shape than me. Mariah’s new job is as a nanny for a 10-week-old baby. For the last two days, the mother of the child has stayed home to make sure that Mariah is comfortable with the apartment and with the baby. Yet, Mariah keeps calling me from the bathroom, saying that the lady is driving her crazy and won’t leave her alone with the baby ever. I picture her standing in the closet with the water running, sneaking phone calls to me. It makes me die laughing to picture her at work, hung over like fuck, and hiding out in the bathroom every 20 minutes or so to call and complain about her new job.
This afternoon, Paul and I are taking a LONG nap together and having a grease-filled lunch. Then we will get ready to go out again! Ugh. Wish I could have a day off in between all this partying, but that is just impossible at this point. Paul has proclaimed that he will only be drinking juice. I have proclaimed that I will only be drinking vodka and juice. Oh Joe. Calm yourself a bit. I must have a wish to spend the rest of the weekend sitting on the toilet.
I can tell you this though…no more meatballs at 4:30 in the morning.
Alright. Hopefully will have a phone and cable hooked up by today. YAY. fucking yay.
SHABBAT SHALOM!
********Just got off the phone with Kelly. No phone until next Wednesday. Shit fuck. That’s irritating. They decided to give us a month and a half free service though, cuz they have screwed up this installation process like 3 times. So that’s cool. But no phone or internet at my house until next week. The cable better still come today though. Cuz really…I am about ready to kill the WB channel. Buffy and Dawson are quickly becoming my archenemies. I fucking hated them to begin with and now I am forced to watch that or the incredibly unintelligent Gilmore Girls.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Oh sorry. Even writing the name “Gilmore Girls” puts me right to sleep.
Hasta la pasta.
Snort.
HORK.
What was supposed to be a casual night out at the bars…
What was supposed to be an easy beginning to Mariah’s big birthday celebration tonight…
What was supposed to be an hour or two at a local lesbian bar…
HORK.
I sit here at my desk and wonder how the fuck I woke up with blood dried all over my arm. I look down at my leg and wonder how there is dried pizza sauce all over the pair of jeans I am wearing. My stomach churns and burns and I am stuck somewhere between vomiting all over my desk and shitting out everything thing that went down my gullet in the past 12 hours.
Mariah got to my house last night at around 7pm. We drank some beers, talked for a couple hours, and got to Paul’s apartment at 9:30pm. From that point on, shit was crazy. Mariah, Lisa, Jen, Paul, and myself sat around and talked some more before we were to head out to the “Meow Mix”. Fucking purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. At one point during our “pre-gaming”, I burst into tears AGAIN. Can I have a day WITHOUT crying? I mean, I am rapidly turning into the biggest fucking baby on the planet. Nobody wants Joe around cuz you know that tears are sure to follow. My friends are being amazing about everything. Never making me feel as though my emotions are too much for them to handle. Last night I didn’t feel nearly as alone as I have felt over the last week.
We arrived at Meow Mix at 11pm and that is when things start to get a little fuzzy. You know, although I have been known to drink on a semi-regular basis, I am always in control, and maintain an appropriate level of drunkenness. But last night, as the vodka tonics came and went faster than I could breathe, I found myself experiencing this new level of wasted asshole. Let’s see…Here is a recap of what I do remember of the evening:
*I didn’t spend that much money. Paul spent about $250. The kid just buys drinks. He doesn’t even ask if anyone needs them. Kelly showed up at “Meows” with her friend Stephanie and this other guy named Evan. (Evan was pretty cool, although I don’t actually remember talking to him at any point. And now as I type this I remember him bumming a cigarette from me while I was being stalked by the only gay old man in the bar. Ok, weird that I remember that.) So, as I was saying, I noticed Paul was buying a drink and I went over to give him money for mine. I realized that he had purchased 8 drinks. There weren’t even 8 people with us. So yeah, Paul just buys all the vodka in the place, thinking that people are just going to stand around holding 3 drinks and dancing. No wonder we all ended up so out of our minds.
*Mariah fell down on the ground hard and Kelly rescued her in the knick of time. But not before completely ruining a new pair of pants she had gotten earlier in the day.
*Paul and I go to “Ray’s Pizza” and buy food for everyone, cuz we left the bar earlier then everyone else. I think we spent like $30 on food. Then we get home and I smoke a bowl and realize that I am hella fucked up and Paul and I sit and debate our relationship for an hour. At some point, the meatball that I was eating rolled down my leg and out the kitchen door. I must have laughed and walked on past it cuz this morning I found sauce on my jeans and a trail of dried sauce in a perfect line coming out of the kitchen. Yet, there was no meatball at the end of the trail. Did I pick it up and finish eating it? Probably. I’ve been known to do worse.
*The music at the bar was from 1993 and included such hits as “Are you down with OPP?” and “Humpty Dance”. I liked it for the most part, but then I hated it. yeah. yeah that’s exactly how I felt about it.
*I took Paul’s keys from him cuz I thought he would lose them. Then we get out of the cab in front of his apartment and he can’t find his keys. And I start bitching at him about how I should have taken the keys when I had the chance. I buzz his house buzzer for like twenty minutes and his roommate Lisa finally crawls out of bed and lets us in. Once upstairs, and after apologizing to Lisa, I take off my jacket and empty my pockets and the keys fall out onto the floor. I felt incredibly sheepish.
*Somehow I scraped my knuckles against the side of a wall and decided that it was perfectly normal to let it bleed all night long and all over my entire arm. Imagine my horror when I woke up this morning and saw blood everywhere. After scrubbing and cleaning myself, sure that I was to find a HUGE gash somewhere on my arm, I realized that all of the blood came out of three tiny knicks on my knuckles. Lame. It could have been a great story about mangling my body, but instead it’s puss story about knicks and shit.
*The alarm went off at 8:50am and I screamed to Paul: “Why would you set the alarm? Turn it off!” Paul snoozes once and 7 minutes later the alarm goes off again. “Turn off the alarm! It’s fucking SATURDAY!!” “No Joe, it’s Friday and you have to be to work in an hour.” “What?” “WHAT?” “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!” Two rounds of intense diarrhea immediately follow.
And that’s pretty much it. I had an enormous amount of fun. But boy am I paying for it today. I called Mariah as soon as I got to work to make sure that she was doing ok. Today is her second day at her new job and when she called me back she sounded in MUCH worse shape than me. Mariah’s new job is as a nanny for a 10-week-old baby. For the last two days, the mother of the child has stayed home to make sure that Mariah is comfortable with the apartment and with the baby. Yet, Mariah keeps calling me from the bathroom, saying that the lady is driving her crazy and won’t leave her alone with the baby ever. I picture her standing in the closet with the water running, sneaking phone calls to me. It makes me die laughing to picture her at work, hung over like fuck, and hiding out in the bathroom every 20 minutes or so to call and complain about her new job.
This afternoon, Paul and I are taking a LONG nap together and having a grease-filled lunch. Then we will get ready to go out again! Ugh. Wish I could have a day off in between all this partying, but that is just impossible at this point. Paul has proclaimed that he will only be drinking juice. I have proclaimed that I will only be drinking vodka and juice. Oh Joe. Calm yourself a bit. I must have a wish to spend the rest of the weekend sitting on the toilet.
I can tell you this though…no more meatballs at 4:30 in the morning.
Alright. Hopefully will have a phone and cable hooked up by today. YAY. fucking yay.
SHABBAT SHALOM!
********Just got off the phone with Kelly. No phone until next Wednesday. Shit fuck. That’s irritating. They decided to give us a month and a half free service though, cuz they have screwed up this installation process like 3 times. So that’s cool. But no phone or internet at my house until next week. The cable better still come today though. Cuz really…I am about ready to kill the WB channel. Buffy and Dawson are quickly becoming my archenemies. I fucking hated them to begin with and now I am forced to watch that or the incredibly unintelligent Gilmore Girls.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Oh sorry. Even writing the name “Gilmore Girls” puts me right to sleep.
Hasta la pasta.
Snort.
